Can't seem to shake these misplaced feelings of guilt

Note from me:

When I wrote the original version of this blog, I hadn't shared the blog with people I know personally. I also tested that it did not come up in various searches, so I felt somewhat safe, but a little daring in putting myself out there, in being raw, seriously true to what I was feeling and thinking and the circumstances around those feelings and thoughts.

But once the next blog idea came to me, and I realized I would like to share it, I tested the waters a bit, and within a day, a friend emailed me to say that I should change the blog. I have read a little bit about blogging etiquette, and I have seen recommendations on how to talk about sensitive subject matter, and the act of blogging in itself feels grey - truths that aren't as raw as they could be, processed for some audience that you aren't really sure exists or is listening.

And I purposefully acted against the grain in, breaking all sorts of 'blogger rules'. But then in hindsight, I felt guilty about writing in such a way about my 'feelings of guilt' , and here I am, in the act of changing the original version. The friend suggested that I take out all the specifics and leave in the emotion. The result is effectively an introduction and a conclusion, with no explanation.

From a writing perspective, the whole notion of figuring out what is the audience and purpose of a blog is a very interesting topic and one that I will explore in a future blog. But for now, here is the revised blog, with specifics taken out, but feelings and emotions left in.

As soon as I picked my daughter up from daycare yesterday, and as the evening wore on and we talked and played, feelings of guilt went from just a little itch, to a proper sinking feeling that lasted through the night of funny dreams.

My natural persona is to be positive, inspiring, self-deprecating, and empathetic, but I am also relentless when it comes to problem solving. Being an emphathic, relentless person, most of the time, is very rewarding. It means that I work very hard to achieve set objectives, but am understanding of other's needs, differences, etc.

There are times like yesterday when these two traits are unreconciliable, and I am forced to choose one over the other, inevitably resulting in me feeling either guilty, as I chose to be relentless over emphatetic, or else disappointed in myself, as I chose empathy over achieving an objective.

[insert story here to explain feelings and emotions]

But then when I picked my daughter up, that feeling of guilt crept in. I wasn't shiny, inspiring, kind-hearted, and understanding. I was firm and relentless in making an important point.