Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Learning to be emotionally strong when pushing oneself

Today marks the end of a major deadline in work (a two-year release cycle). This deadline is quite different to others I have experienced in the past. It is the first time I have pushed towards a major release while being a mom. With my husband travelling three out of the last four weeks, I had to juggle being a single-parent while working long, intense hours.

Something happened on the way towards the deadline, something that I have often hoped for, but never quite was able to achieve. I stayed calm, I stayed focus, and I stayed positive, even with lots of variables pushing me in lots of directions.

Other times in my life, I would have experienced a sense of frustration towards the end, participating in the politics that other tired people are engaging in, or else arguing with my husband over trivial things that just don't matter in the bigger scheme of life. This time I felt it very important to stay positive, to be emotionally strong for my daughter. I did not want my work to negatively affect her life.

I felt this tremendous desire to prove to myself that I could be good at my job, successfully participate in an intense delivery period, and still sit down and play house, serving many, many stuffed animals cups of tea. What I discovered during this release is that it takes a lot less energy to stay positive and you get this tremendous boost of mental and physical strength, making it possible to do so much more than you would normally be capable of, simply because you are emotionally stable to the core.

I have pushed myself so many times before, physically, mentally, but I can honestly say this is the first time that I asked myself to stay emotionally sound, to be spiritually present while I was asking my mind and body to do way more than is natural in a 24-hour time period.

It is by far the biggest achievement for me in this release. I don't feel as if I need to rebuild my life - I never stopped living.

Thanks, Suzana, for helping me to realize the value of being present, here and now.